LONDON - Just when the country has started moving again, embracing the minus celsius temperature, Mother Nature decided to heap more snow on the nation.
"Ah holy crap!" said one concerned citizen. "Damn. Damn. Goddammit."
After roads were closed, air transport delayed by years, more snow falls.
I did mention, it's MORE SNOW.
"Well," said a meteorologist, "The snow was caused by air coming in from Siberia, and also the very north of Canada, resulting in more fucking snow."
The Midlands and Wales will experience 30cm (12in) of snow, London with 15cm (6in) Cornwall and Devon with 50cm (20in), and Scotland with 1m (3ft). Shit.
Already, Britian has been deemed a no-fly zone for all flights from North America, Europe and Asia.
"I was supposed to catch the bus to Birmingham International," said a disgruntled passenger. "But they were cancelled. I got a taxi. But due to traffic, it took two hours to get there, instead of 20 mins. Then I found out my flight to Chicago was cancelled. In fact nearly all the flights were cancelled. THEN, to add insult to more insult, the windows smashed due to the pressure and mass of the snow. Screw you mother nature."
Even though schools are shut for the winter break, many schools have announced that they will have to shut until Febuary, adding an entire month for lucky students, and delaying exams for GCSE and A-Level students.
"So wait?" said one. "I spent ages revising for an exam that won't exist?" He stared blankly. "FUUUUUCKKKK!"
As of press time, Antarctica is melting really fast. What an inverse.