Written by Jack Melling
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Topics: David Cameron

Friday, 24 December 2010

Prime Minister David Cameron has been called "untrustworthy" and accused of cheating by back-bench Lib Dem MPs after a questionable win in the first ever Coalition government pub quiz.

Mr Cameron's team called the "Eton Massive", which included George Osborne and Boris Johnson, were declared the winners after getting nearly 90 per cent of their answers correct.

However, the manner of their win has been questioned by Lib Dem MPs that no-one's ever heard of, after one of them spotted George Osborne using his BlackBerry throughout the quiz, especially during the popular culture and current affairs rounds.

One Lib Dem MP, who does not wish to be named, said, "George Osborne can't answer basic questions about the economy, let alone popular culture questions like who won this year's X-Factor."

Another anonymous Lib Dem MP said, "I saw all of them cheating throughout. Boris Johnson even tried to distract everyone with his incoherent rambling as Cameron and Osborne looked up the answers on their phones."

Deflecting blame away for their actions David Cameron blamed the former Labour government for their supposed cheating, which he feels was brought about by a decline in what he calls "ethical behaviour in pub quiz competition."

He said, "Under the previous Labour government cheating in quizzes has accelerated to record highs. As far as I'm concerned they took their eye off the ball and let this sort of disgraceful behaviour consistently happen under their watch."

Despite numerous complaints throughout the evening, Quizmaster Nick Clegg did nothing to stop or address the blatant cheating.

Insiders said the Deputy Prime Minister ignored the protests and tried to calm his fellow Lib Dem MPs down by stating they needed to get along with their Conservative colleagues to create a better pub quiz environment for future generations.

Lib Dem MPs, dismayed by Nick Clegg letting the Conservative Party do whatever they want, have threatened to never participate in another pub quiz and called for the Deputy Prime Minister to resign from his position as Quizmaster.

One Lib Dem MP said, "This blatant disregard for other people and unnecessary cheating by the Prime Minister and Chancellor during the pub quiz will not be tolerated. We have had enough of standing in the background and complaining to Nick Clegg about their actions while he does nothing. This will be the last pub quiz I attend!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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