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Friday, 24 December 2010

image for Holiday Stress Threatens Christmas at Sandringham
Massive to-do list could push Queen to Xmas Day Massacre

Tension coloured the Royal Family's annual gathering at Sandringham today as the burden of entertaining a houseful of relations became too much for the Queen.

"As usual," sighed a Lady-in-Waiting," she's tried to do too much. She was up to three in the morning trimming the Christmas tree Tuesday night, slept a few hours, and then immediately started doing laundry and making the beds. She won't hear of anyone helping. It's a great deal for a lady of her age but she's always determined to make a perfect Christmas for the family. And, of course, it doesn't help with the Princess Royal and the Duke of York fighting every day about who gets to open the Waitrose advent calendar."

The Queen apparently refuses to delegate tasks, believing her's is a job for life. She and the Duke of Edinburgh had a 'frightful row' while securing the Christmas tree in its stand. The Queen was also reduced to shouting when the Duke attempted to help by 'wrapping up a few prezzies.'

HM, frantically attempting to apply wine gums to a scale gingerbread model of Windsor Castle, erupted after the Duke asked her 'again for the umpteenth time when I'm busy' if Princess Michael of Kent was to receive the pound of limburger cheese or the Ann Summers gift card.

Famed for her stiff-upper-lip, the monarch reportedly later dissolved in tears upon discovering she'd left her roasting pan at Buckingham Palace, creating the new problem of how to prepare the turkey for Christmas Day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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