Written by Bob Muppet
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Topics: Police, Strike

Tuesday, 16 September 2003

Manchester came to a halt today when the police force went on strike.

The dispute was caused when a senior police officer instructed a constable to leave the station and find some criminals.

A union spokesperson explained the plight of his members.

‘It's tough out there on the streets. The whole place is crawling with rapists and muggers. How can I allow my members to be put at risk?' he reasoned.

‘I don't mind the officers spending their working day attending ‘lesbian, gay, ethnic, sexist or human rights courses' but to ask them to be exposed to the criminals outside the station is just out of the question'.

Some of my non-male, vertically challenged, positively discriminated members have expressed deep concern over the situation.

They want to make it quite clear that they didn't join the force to be exposed to police work.

'When I was recruited, they told me that police work was all about going on courses and occasionally doing a bit of window shopping' an officer sobbed.

'All we want is to be totally politically correct'

‘If that means that we spend all our time attending courses and practicing public relations, well so be it --but we're not leaving the station! '

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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