Global conglomerate chief executive Eggs Benedict is apparently struggling to find words to fill the air time sopped to him as presenter of BBC's Thought for the Day.
"His Roly Polyness iss uncertain how best to reach za British people," said his spokesperson, Elsa von Whiplash. "He hass fogiven, if not fogodden za mixed rezeption he received duhink hissss last visit to your stubborn und resistant country. He vonts to bridge za gap, zis is assured."
Early reports suggest the abandonment of plans to announce that Britian's one true sovereign is an obscure descendant of Katherine of Aragon. The late Miss Aragon is perhaps best known as the original wife of very naughty sinner King Henry VIII, who chose to break with Rome rather than fly to Vegas in his bid to divorce the Spanish fun sponge who gave him only a blood thirsty daughter as his heir. But struggling to make his point in the allotted three minutes, and fond of anyone with German relations, the theme has been tabled. Rumours are flying he is now considering a haiku about out of court settlements or just starting a rumour that Kate Middleton eats only fish on Fridays.
Over on Channel 4, Dame Vera Lynn is now on deck to deliver the Alternative Thought for the Day.