Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 22 December 2010

image for Journalists asked to take emergency supplies to disaster areas
They always get through

Large areas of the UK are currently unable to get any kind of supplies, with some areas beginning to run out of the basics such as milk, bread and toothpaste. The delivery lorries are unable to get to the supermarkets.

Even the trusty Transit van is unable to get to the local shops to deliver staples, and they normally get everywhere.

Whilst watching the news, Sir Asa Darr, the Chairman of the Tesbury's Supermarket chain, came up with a radical solution.

Spokesperson for Tesbury's explains: "Sir Darr was watching a reporter in the village of Hambury in Kent, which was completely cut off and the local populace beginning to struggle. Being the unqualified business genius he is, Sir Darr realised that if the journalist could get through in order to report from a place that nobody could get through to, then they could take supplies with them."

It is a closely guarded secret how TV journalists get through to these cut off areas, but it is not just snow affected areas that they can somehow reach. Sir Darr's idea is being taken up on a larger scale.

"Basically," said Alan Johnson, Home Secretary, "we are going to request that journalists take relief to the areas that they report on. They wouldn't be there if everything was hunky dory, so any relief that can be got through by any means is welcome. In the UK we are obviously asking that they take basic supplies to cut off villages and farms, but should there be a proper natural disaster somewhere in the world, all those thousands of journalists that somehow manage to get through to report on how cut off it is, can take some medical aid, and the like."

Sir Trevor McDonald, the world's most famous newsreader, is dubious. "I guess," he said, "it is time to come clean and admit that we film all of these things round the back of the studio or against a green screen."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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