Written by Lady Godiva
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Tuesday, 21 December 2010

image for Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive"
Condoms, if cut, no matter what the colour - are useless

Union leaders told the PM that ConDem cuts were "dangerous and divisive" during a mince pie summit at Downing Street yesterday.

Whilst eating mince pies and drinking egg nog yesterday, Union leaders told the Prime Minister that, indeed - cuts in condoms were extremely dangerous and divisive.

The Prime Minister attempted to correct Union Leaders saying that the cuts were to be for ConDem cuts and not condoms.

The Union Leaders, having partaken of many rum-laced mince pies and much rum-laced egg nog, at the invitation of the PM, were not convinced.

Union Leader "Ivan The Terrierbull" is quoted as having said,

"You are just trying to pull freshly sheared wool over the eyes of the working classes and this will not do. We are not stupid people, just 'poor' people, who, unlike you, have to WORK for a living IF we can get jobs.

You are being divisive (and I DO know the meaning of the word because we all own dictionaries) in that you are trying to divide the populous into those who 'want' children and those who 'do not want' children.

With the cuts in condoms you are trying to level out the playing field. Everyone, if the Government gets its way, will be having lots of babies.

We do not need cuts in condoms. We have a hard time supporting the children we have already 'planned'.

This latest move re: condom cuts appears to us to be a ploy by the Government to swell the populous of this fair Isle and run us poor folk into the ground.

The Government officials do not seem to have figured it out...that more children will mean, more of us on welfare, receiving child benefits etc.

They think THEY are the clever buggers...but just you wait and see what the future brings.

England will be brought to its knees and I don't mean 'united in prayer' ."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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