Norfolk - (Reuterus): The halo's looking pretty damned tarnished amid reports George W Bush is Julian Assange's father.
Spawned in the Australian humpback - er...outback! - Dubya-Bloody-Junior soon learned to milk the paternity for kudos and cash.
But myriad own pretzel moments soon saw Bush Junior Jr branded a chip-off-the-old-block asshole like his Pop.
Last week British authorities took swabs from Assange during his HMP Wandsworth bridal suite stay.
Apparently these have tested DNA positive by the National Poisons Unit psychopathy department where US presidential samples are usually stored.
Sources close to FBI penal toxicology said this week that George W Bush fled to Australia in the late 1960s.
A series of gross incidents involving UK vice accomplice and wannabe-pope Karol Wojtyla left him cowering for cover.
Several hundred hookers later and out popped the babe now leeching off headlines around the world.
The rest is too disgusting to mention.