Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Bed, Carpets

Monday, 20 December 2010

image for Carpet Found Under Boy's Bed
The carpet can clearly be seen sticking out from under the bed at the bottom of the picture

A woman in the Potteries has today described the moment when she discovered that the floorboards underneath her son's bed were covered with carpet.

Karen Low-Cal, 46, mother of Child C, who has behavioural problems, told how she had been clearing rubble from under the bed, and found the brown carpet "just laying there".

"I'd never seen it before," said Karen, who was a dissatisfied call centre operator at one of the world's largest telecommunications giants in Stoke-on-Trent before she got fed up and told them to piss off. She added:

"The area under C's bed has always been covered with toys, games, Action Men, dirty stained underpants and, more recently, a mucky book, an impala, an Atom Bomb, a combine harvester and the missing-since-1908 American literary figure, Ambrose Bierce. I didn't realise there was a carpet under there as well! It just shows you!"

Police say they won't be carrying out an investigation.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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