Written by j.w.
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Topics: Banks

Monday, 20 December 2010

image for Bankers Face Bonus Clampdown
Bonus Clampdown for Bankers

As George Osborne and Vince Cable sing a duet on the action they will take if the Banks pay their top executives massive bonuses for Christmas, Bankers are preparing themselves for an austere Christmas.

'No turkey for us' revealed one top Banker 'it is lettuce sandwiches on Christmas Day. The children will only get presents that have been approved by the Government'.

So, finally the Government's assurances about dealing with the scandal of Bank Bonuses are being met.

Until I realised that I had been led astry! It was all words - the bonuses were going ahead. The top Banker with no turkey was feeding the lettuce sandwiches to his pet rabbit and the Government guidelines on presents for Banker's children allowed for tax deductable expenditure of at least £1000 per child.

It was all a Christmas Pantomime. Except that the Baddies won and the people lost.

When faced with the real situation Vince Cable was reduced to a near indecipherable stutter. 'The importance of the BBBBBanking sector should not be unnnderestimmated' he informed a body of journalists packed into the press conference to avoid the cold weather outside 'we have done a lotta things to curb BBBBBank BBBBonuses and have been largely successful. A tax on Bank's profits is not without its probbblematical elemments, but it is still under very serious considdderattttion.'

At this he left the stage to a smiling Osborne. 'Vince has said it all' he declared and left stage right.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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