Mr Lyton, from world renown "The Spoof News", has become a millionaire overnight. Some are saying he inherited it, some are saying he stole it, but his ex transvestite lover, SKOOB1999 has explained.
"The love earned every one of those millions, I've stood behind him, night after night, watching him tear every word from his gin soaked body. He once wrote so many words, his hands were bleeding but he refused to stop. I had to hit him over the head with a wet mulllet".
Lyntons half bred sister, Lady Godiva, endorses this statement.
"Oh! the times I have gone round his hovel and seen him, sit satting there, on the milking stool, banging away with SKOOB1999. She only wanted Lynton for his Oxford dictionary, bitch".
Agent and friend, Morse, had this to say.
When we found Lynton, he was hiding in the cess pit at the back of his now plush mansion.
"Leave me alone! I am not giving any of my millions away, you can tell that bastard, Arm, to sling his hook! Look at the muck in here!
I've met the queen you know"
Good luck to Lynton! and here is to the next million!