LONDON - The tuition fees bill was lost in the Parliament building today.
The bill, which will impoverish thousands of budding young smart people, had disappeared.
"Uhhh..." said an MP. "Yes. It is such a shame it was lost. Oh dear. What ever shall we do? We'll just not have to go through with the rise. What a shame. Yeah. Uhhh..."
The bill was last seen being carried around in a black briefcase, where it was set down, according to security video footage. Well, it was in greyscale, so it looked black. But nonetheless, the case was gone.
According to sources close to the Dep. PM and the PM, the men were weeping after the bill was pronounced missing.
"OH DEAR!" said Cameron. "One has put so much time and effort into ruining the chances of the middle- and lower-classes... well they're both lower... now one's hard work has been futile. Oh the shame...!"
Students protesting outside the building were overjoyed with the news, with many thanking the mysterious stranger who saved them.
"We were like, 'Woah-ohhh-oohhhh'..." said Mark Smith, a 16-year old who has got A*s, referring to the 30 Seconds to Mars song, "when the guy on BBC News said that the bill had disappeared. We were overjoyed."
Who could have taken the briefcase?
A young assistant came up to this reporter while he was standing outside Whitehall waiting for a bus.
"Excuse me, sir?" he asked. "You left your briefcase in Parliament."