As snow continues to blanket the continent, bringing traffic, pub crawling, and riots in the street to a near halt, police are on full alert as sightings of an 'Abominable Snowman" continue to pore in from terrified council residents.
Described by some as a hairy creature approximately 6'8' tall, with long greasy locks escaping from beneath a weather beaten Pork Pie Hat, and with a miniscule penis, the ape like Albino creature, for that is what he appears due to his shite stained white coat, has been sighted near pubs from Portsmouth to Manchester, and near the Tothill Underground in London close by a Bed & Breakfast that caters to gay clientele.
While the creature, if there be such, appears docile, and only mildly intoxicated, the MET is taking no chances and has reconstituted the Raul Moat Task Force and put them on full standby ready to take immediate action to talk the Bastard into surrender, if they can corner 'em.
Ministers from the Human Rights division have theorized that the Abominable Man managed to enter the UK from the Himalayas during the period that the Labour Party was encouraging people from around the globe to flock to the UK to build a utopian multi-curltural society which would exist from Mana from the Heavens.
"Obviously," said shadow cultural affairs minister Percey Gobshite, "this is now proving to be an immense problem after the country has run out of money. Once you take things away from folks, they tend to get quite nasty turning to riots, turd throwing, and firing up things....it just won't do, will it, now?"
Adding to the problem, now bordering on hysteria, is an additional sighting from Yorkshire of another tall apparition, approximately 6'7", although he's walks hunched over, prowling around the alleyways behind certain pubs and houses of pleasure.
Thanks to the 2 available eye witnesses, deemed credible, authorities now fear that during the Labour reign, the infamous BigFoot also managed to cross the border into Britain passing himself off as an accredited Internet Blogger , PC computer repairman, and spokesman for Verizon cell phone service.
The only description of the creature put on the wire from INTERPOL is that "he's a pretty big bloke, has a wicked sense of humour, and fancies size 14 square toed Blue Suede Shoes."
Investigators assigned to internet crime are now furiously scanning sites catering to fans of foot fetishes, and say, "we'll find the Bastard....he's going to have to go to a Laundromat
someday to wash his socks, and then we'll 'ave 'em!"
A local psychic has also offered her assistance in the matter but PC Earl Grey said succinctly "Frankly, I can't be arsed...she's always got it backwards!"