Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 17 December 2010

image for ABC Signs Larry King To Appear As A Contestant On Next Year's 'Dancing With The Stars'
Edyta Sliwinska is the sexiest woman in the history of Poland. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

HOLLYWOOD - The spokesperson for the celebrity dancing reality show, Dancing With The Stars Fairfax Atchafalaya, has just announced that Larry King has agreed to be a contestant on the next edition of Dancing With The Stars.

King, who will turn 97, on National Crop Rotating Day, says that he is really looking forward to getting out on the dance floor and doing the cha cha cha, the mambo, the tango, and the free style pat down quick step, which is a brand new dance that the show's producers have added for the upcoming season.

Larry said that he agreed to do the show but only if he could be paired with Edyta Sliwinska, whom he confessed is the sexiest dancer that he has ever seen.

Edyta has received several world wide awards including "Sexiest Dancer in Poland," "Sexiest Ass in Holland," and "Dancer With The Most Gorgeously Sensuous Butt in The Peoples Republic of China."

The 28-year-old native of Warsaw, Poland, has what English judge Len "The British Bloke" Goodman says are the most bloomingly bloody luvvly-jubbly legs on both sides of the pond (The Atlantic Ocean).

Italian judge Bruno Tonioli, who is known as "The Gaytalian" smiled and said that of course, being a sissy fella, he does not like girls, but if he did he would most certainly want to rub his dinky poo (pee-pee) against Sliwinska's love harbor (groin goody).

And Carrie Ann Inaba, Miss Philippines of 19 something quipped that she is a straight girl but that if she was not a straight girl and was a lesbianite like Melissa Etheridge, Rosie O'Donnell, or Wanda Sykes that she would love to grab hold of Edyta and play the popular Upper Left Coast game, 'I'll Touch Your Biscuit With My Index Finger And You Will Enjoy It Just As Much As If It Was A Diddly Dipper (Wiggle Widget).'

Another stipulation that Larry King insisted on and the DWTS producers agreed to was that he will be allowed to wear suspenders in every one of his dance numbers.

In the world of economics. The African country of Kamgooganda has stated that they are in such a horrible financial state that they are going to have to gather up about 2.3 million of its citizens and secretly transport them up to Northern Alaska.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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