Written by Nick Hobbs
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Topics: life, Lucky

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

image for Shock: Lady Luck Spurns Those In Need
Need help on your exam? TOUGH! Lady Luck has closed the door!

A local man was heard to say that 'Lady Luck was gonna shine on him some day', in a local bar this evening.

However, locals who were present spoke out against this rather 'sunny' outlook on life and argued that the aforementioned 'Lady' was in fact waiting to 'shite' on him someday. 'Soon'!

The regulars, who frequent the bar, have known the 'happy-go-lucky' patron for a number of years, and have all confirmed that as luck goes 'if it wasn't for bad luck, this guy wouldn't have no luck at all!'

Lady Luck was unavailable for comment, as she was readying herself for a massive 'clearout', but a spokesperson said "Lady Luck is very specific about who she 'shines a light on', and to be fair, this dweeb is not high on her list of hopefuls!"

"In fact, he is not even on the list, hopeful or not", said the spokesman, "His name's not Tim, so he's not coming in," he finished.

Hopeful's in the race for a bit of luck remain the same as last week, people with money, people with a future, people called Tim, and Matt Cardle, insignificant non-singing, hat wearing toss piece from X-Factor.

Student protesting layabouts and those that work for a living, and are truly less fortunate than others, are still fucked.

Welcome to life.

More as she shine's a light on it!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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