A Psychologist's study just out of Scotland has confirmed what some older, very handsome scribes on the Spoof.com already know; they are now more in demand than ever by rich, successful career women secure in their place in the world and in their sexuality!
"My social calendar is pretty much full up," said bon vivant Colonel Juan, a distinguished well dressed exile from Bolivia, now put up by his fan club in London.
When we caught up for a chat, he couldn't talk long, as he was packing for the season in Palm Beach, where his services as a 'walker' were much in demand during the busy holiday season by some the world's richest divorcees and widows.
"Walkers" are coveted and escort the women to endless cocktail parties, charitable events, golf & polo matches , and to carry packages home from Worth Avenue, a collection of high end stores rivaling that of Rodeo Drive in Beverly hills.
"It doesn't hurt that I can drive a right hand drive Rolls, and of course my Seville Row suits, ascots, jaunty hats and the fact I speak 7 languages, with the proper accent, doesn't limit my marketability either, " said the Colonel, packing the last of his collar stays, silk underwear and suspenders.
Other writers, including Bureau & Morse have also benefited from the phenomena.
Both agreed their fan mail was up, and was at the point where they might have to hire personal secretaries to handle it all. "Of course, you have to find someone you can trust, " said Bureau, "there's a lot of cash coming in every day, and it all has to be accounted for, and you have to be careful not to exceed the federal limit of $10,000 deposits!"
Morse concurred, but said he took a page from several democratic congressman and simply opened a charitable 501 non profit to shield the income. "I get to travel, buy my clothes, hire staff, eat out a lot, always with a different, and might I add, most charming and intellectually challenging delightful woman 7 days a week. My wife doesn't mind, as she now has her own Black American Express card and spends most of the day shopping on line at Neiman Marcus, M&S for mundane goods, and Cadbury's for treats!"
Envious middle aged writer Martin Shuttlecock said he couldn't wait to become an old geezer!
"I'm doing everything in my power to increase me aging," he said after an all night walk about where he continued to bump into things in the dark, "I'm naturally handsome by birth, I'm a good conversationalist, can master any accent, and know the proper tools to employ at supper, thanks to me mum....I just don't have the maturity and certain savoir faire those other guys have...at least not yet...BASTARDS!
The study was tabulated from over 3800 questionnaires posed to heterosexuals.
A similar study garnered from over 25,000 gays and transgender respondents is still being sorted, which might lend some hope for the younger, less mature and less good looking writers at the Spoof.