Mass horror in Cornwall today as what has been described as the "Anti-Santa" was witnessed stealing presents from homes in Worsley Dorsley.
Mrs. Elena Morris woke up this morning and discovered a leering fat man dressed in green with a lethal sack were confirmed by the police of Worsley Dorsley.
Following a slippery getaway, Mrs. Morris revealed how the only thing she'd received from the "Anti-Santa" were a bad case of morning after syndrome as well as several unusual rashes.
Meanwhile, her flatscreen TV had been stolen.
With five other cases also confirmed in the area, is it any wonder that the Anti-Santa has been emptying his sack and filling up the stockings of young women in Worsley Dorsley. Our chubby, old, Cornish friend Mr. Atnas offered this commentary.
"He's a fucking genius that guy,"