Written by j.w.
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Monday, 13 December 2010

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Watch Shooting Stars Tomorrow

The Royal Astronomical Society is forecasting an evening of shooting stars tomorrow night (Tuesday).

Already several 'stars' have been offered up for the great sacrifice: X Factor competitors are high on the list trailing Ann Widdicombe by a short head.

The spectacle will take place during the night and target practice is taking place in the sky in preparation. These trials are likely to be quite faint but the actual shooting of the stars is promised to be in a blaze of colour.

TV chiefs are worried that the attraction will reduce viewing figures and advertises are buying up sections of the sky near the actual shootings at exorbitant rates.

Parents are protesting about the harm which will be done to their children if they witness the stars being shot, but their appeals are falling on deaf ears. It is thought that Father Christmas will be one of the targets to be shot, thus causing children throughout the world a miserable festive season.

'This is a heavenly event outside our control' declared Police Chief Sir Paul Stephenson 'but we will be monitoring the situation to see if we can bring charges.'

Rumours that Queen in waiting, Camilla, is to be among the shooting stars have met with a quick denial from Buckingham Palace. 'Charles can't afford to lose another wife' declared the real Queen 'royal protocol will not allow Camilla's sacrifice to the Gods.'

If you want to suggest a star for the shooting send your votes immediately to www.shootingstars.web. Keep your eyes open tomorrow night to find out if you voted for one of the winners!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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