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Monday, 13 December 2010

image for The planets conspire to upstage Julian Assange bail appeal
Tuesday's celestial floorshow will see Assange wiped from the headlines

London - (Winter Triangle): A Mercury-Mars-Pluto conjunction straddling Capricorn threatens to scupper the whistleblower's court appearance on Tuesday.

The stunning triplicity occurs on the natal Sun/Mercury conjunction of a top UN war crimes prosecutor previously stalked by Assange.

The Australian snooper once hacked into the judge's Echelon-encrypted security pass - and mistook NATO disinformation files 'for proof of a massive Zionist conspiracy'.

This roused all his latent Protocols of the Elders of Zion suspicions about a President George Bush Senior plot to nuke the Sea of Galilee.

"Actually, Assange is over 40 years too late," a UN Security Council source commented today.

"Bush Sr's earliest solutions to the Israel/Palestine conflict did indeed include the H-bombing of the area's water supply," the deep throat continued.

"The good news is that Mossad frogmen and Soviet submersibles retrieved the warhead and managed to retrieve it.

And the bad?

"Let's just say the device may have still been live when the boat carrying it sank in the seismic belt around Indonesia!"

The Boxing Day 2004 tsunami killed more than 250,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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