Written by mattymc13
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Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for Nelson's Column down. Dubious replacement up.
Nick Clegg

A highly controversial decision to replace Nelson's Column with a column dedicated to Nick Clegg has been met with displeasure throughout the United Kingdom.

Clegg's Column, which is scheduled to be erected in Trafalgar Square by the end of 2012, is said to represent a "massive step forward for a realistic Britain" according to it's designer Fred Sharp. "Let's face it, we're all liars. We all lie everyday. It's an essential part of British life. And what better way to commemorate the gift of lying than by erecting a giant column with Nick Clegg perched on top."

The decision has left many people confused, including historian J.G.A. Pocock. "I'm just not sure what Nick Clegg has done to warrant pride of place in the heart of London's Trafalgar Square. He only told a few lies and broken a few promises. Surely on that basis, Phil Mitchell should have his own column."

Transport Secretary, Philip Hammond, announced his anger by discussing the practical problems. "Picture this... You're driving up Whitehall, and Clegg's Column comes into view. It's going to cause road rage. And vomiting. Lots of vomiting."

Ed Miliband could only laugh and joke about the matter. "If I was driving towards that thing and clamped eyes on it, I would, rather ironically, do a U-turn."

It is expected to cost tax payers 38 million pounds, and to fund the project, parliament will next week be voting on the coalition's latest proposal to increase annual tuition fees to £27,000.

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