London - (Shark And Awe): Tiny loan shark tadpoles stranded in the Hype Park water feature have tested DNA positive.
Stuxnet inspired cyberphishing expeditions earlier this year tracked natural migration and globule (sic) warring to the Red Sea resort of Shark El Shaikh.
These were being monitored by MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams RIP whose unexplained death 'remains a mystery'.
Scotland Yard sources said last week they had found traces of the SHARK block cypher on Williams' laptop tracing interpolation attacks on the gullible public.
Species identified in the probe include the Orectolobiforme carpet burns shark, the Carcharhiniforme tourist requiem shark, myriad Lamniformes including the JK Rowling hob goblin shark and the Cherie Blair megamouth shark, the Isistius labialis lawsonii or Nigella cookiecutter shark and various specimens of the Hemigaleidae weasel-worded shark family including the Nick Cleggover bottle nose shark.
"Fins can only get bitter," a Fraud Squad source commented today.