Written by Mike Davies
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Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for Cameron and Clegg to see marriage counselor
Clegg (L) and Cameron (R)

DAVID Cameron and Nick Clegg released a joint statement yesterday, confirming rumours that they were seeing a marriage counselor and that their marriage had hit rocky times of late. However, they went on to say that they were determined to make things work, despite their recent differences being made very public.

Although they'd been bubbling under the surface for a while, problems apparently became serious this week after Clegg voted for an increase in student loan fees, becoming the first ever British political leader to complete the fabled Grand Slam of abandoning an entire set of manifesto commitments within one year of taking office. "I just don't know who I am any more", Clegg is reported to have told good friend Vince Cable over cookie dough ice cream and an entire season of Sex and the City. "I mean, I still love David, but I've already abandoned every principle I ever stood for."

Cable came out in Clegg's defence this morning, saying that "the grotesque allegation that Nick is being taken for a ride- in the process destroying not just the recent success of the party but also 150 years of liberal tradition in British politics- is probably only partly true. Like any couple, David and Nick have their ups and downs, and they need time to work these through."

Several high-ranking Tory figures are also concerned that Cameron is taking Clegg for granted, with worries intensifying after David recently forgot their six month anniversary, instead running off with his best chum Georgie to hunt poor people. Senior party figures rallied to his defence after Cable's statement, with Ed Pickles stating "we all know that David can be forgetful at times, but that's part of his loveable floppy charm. He does love Nick really, and wouldn't be anything without him. He just doesn't respect him, or anything he stands for".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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