LONDON - After alienating millions, and crushing the dreams and hopes of hundreds of thousands, the Tory government has announced new plans to cut down on excessive wall use at all schools.
"So many walls," said Cameron. "are in schools. We have decided to pass a law stating that all schools must pay for the privilege of four walls, otherwise you die."
Many poorer students will be affected by the increases, as the cost of putting work up on walls increases.
"I remember when we paid not much for a wall," recalled a senior teacher at a local primary school, "before that we didn't pay at all... but what's wrong with the current system? Nick Clegg pledged that he would make sure that he would keep four walls in every classroom. He didn't have to raise the fees for it."
Students, and teachers protested outside Parliament, but to no avail.
As of press time, Cameron was seen laughing evilly, and sending his soul to the devil.