Written by queen mudder

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Thursday, 9 December 2010

image for Asteroid smites Holy Thorn of Glastonbury!
Joseph of Arimathea planted the sapling in the shadow of Glastonbury's St Michael's Mount

Glastonbury, Wilts - (Apocalyptic Mess): Planted as a tiny cutting by Joseph of Arimathea circa 34AD the Holy Thorn of Wearyall Hill was destroyed by cosmic fire last night.

Onlookers reported a giant space fireball streaking across the evening sky destroyed the 2,000 year-old Crataegus Monogyna whorethorn.

The majestic shrub has graced Glastonbury's sacred landscape despite the ravages of time and tide.

Legend has it that its destruction will herald the end of a tyranny imposed on the good but gullible people of Albion.

A twig from the sacred specimen has traditionally been cut for use at the Queen's Christmas table.

"She'll have to make do this year with a bit of Poison Ivy instead," royal household sources commented this afternoon.

Prince Philip is in a straightjacket.

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