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Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for £5 John Lennon Commemorative Coin Worth £7.25 Already!
The Awful Scene On December 8th 1980 When John Lennon Gunned Down Jack Ruby.

Skoob News can reveal that this Christmas's most popular stocking filler is likely to be the Royal Mint's £5 coin commemorating the thirtieth anniversary of John Lennon's tragic demise.

We can exclusively reveal, that already the commemorative coins are changing hands for as much as £7.50 and according to one analyst we spoke to, may bring in several thousand pounds a pop in a few years on Dickinson's Real Deal.

A Scouse source, currently sequestered in Southport, sitting pretty on a stash of sterling silver told us:

"I dunno if John would have enjoyed people cashing in on his name like this. He was just a regular guy who occasionally got jealous, but who loved his woman. He was always a bit of a socialist and he used to insist that money can't buy love and that he never cared too much for it. Whilst it may be true that he had quite a lot of it he never really understood it and frequently had to ask for help! You could never imagine what was going on in his head. He used to tell me that he spent quite a lot of his time thinking about shaved fish, double fantasies, plastic bands and world peace being given a chance. He often asked me to please please him by telling him a joke or something. Then when I did, he'd laugh and go 'yeah yeah yeah!' I think he'd have probably just come up with some witty one liner about this commemorative coin malarkey. That was John all over. It's who he was. A bit of a nowhere man really."

John Lennon was cruelly taken from us on December 8th 1980 as he returned to his apartment in the exclusive Dakota Building following a recording session - only to be shot in the back by some silly delusional fat bastard who allegedly once read a book or something.

He was reported to own 70% of the state of New Jersey, as well as Rhode Island and swathes of Pennsylvania, although US officials would never grant him full citizenship because he was an enemy of the state, and a commie bastard.

Allegedly.

A piece of New York's Central Park opposite the Dakota has been designated as a lasting tribute to the late icon and is known as Strawberry Fields.

The flower beds are maintained by a lady named Eleanor Rigby, who told us:

"We all miss John. He was a genius. Hang on a minute, I haven't got me blinkin' face on - I keep it in a jar by the door, you know."

In related news, the Royal Mint denied that there were plans afoot to mint a special 2p coin commemorating the anniversary of Gary Glitter's paedophile conviction in Thailand.

John Winston Lennon - RIP

More as we get it.

(It's good to be back.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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