Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for Statue of Liberty Collapses
Statue of Liberty Crumbles

In an extraordinary parallel event the Statue of Liberty in America crumbled into dust as Julian Assange, of WikiLeaks fame, was locked up having been refused bail pending his questioning over alleged sexual assaults in Sweden.

'That'll shut the bugger up' was the cry from the lips of many a Diplomat, using diplomatic language normally displayed in cables to superiors.

'Well, of course' said Ken Clark 'if you put a person in prison you do keep him out of the way for a while, but I reckon Assange may not reform in Wandsworth. He could emerge with secrets obtained from fellow residents which could embarrass many. He could also pick a bit of advice on how to annoy authorities even more after his eventual release.'

'Release!' screamed Tory Back Bencher Sir Geronimouse Birch 'he's never coming out. Fancy assaulting those fine Swedish women - he deserves all he gets.'

'You see the end of liberty and freedom of the press by this draconian move of refusing bail' came the clarion cry from Liberals Anonymous. In a statement left outside a newspaper's offices they continued: 'Assange has revealed more dirty linen in a week than we have seen in decades. Liberals Anonymous are standing up to be counted on this issue once we have finally dealt with those fucking law breaking gangster students!'

So the life of Wandsworth prison goes drearily on and the prison develops leaks in unexpected places. Internal memos from the Governor to the CIA and MI5 get onto the internet and the visit of Sarah Palin which is quickly arranged, becomes public knowledge.

We are safe again. The Truth is securely buttoned up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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