Written by Monkeywoods Jnr
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Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for Encyclopaedia Salesman Tries To Pass Himself Off As Burglar To Gain Entry To Woman's House
"Would you like to buy some encyclopaedias, madam?"

Police are investigating the strange case of an encyclopaedia salesman in London who tried to gain entry into a woman's house by claiming he was a burglar.

The man, Johnny Repp, was arrested after he duped his way into the home of Elsie Nobble, 93, by repeatedly telling her that, despite her female intuition that he had come to sell her useless information books, he was only a burglar who had come to rob her of her entire life savings.

After more than half an hour of relentless pleading, Repp was admitted to the residence by the frightened pensioner only on the understanding that no sales pitch for encyclopaedias would be made.

Once inside, however, the callous salesman wasted no time in producing his special edition leather-bound volumes full of total cack, at which point Elsie screamed for a copper.

Sergeant Bill Plod of the Met told us: "This man tried to gain access into this old lady's home by telling her that he was a harmless burglar, but then proceeded to terrorise her with his crappy books. With this arrest, the public can sleep peacefully in their beds tonight, safe in the knowledge that one less mindless criminal is at large."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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