Nick Clegg, the anonymous face of the UK government, is said to be distraught at finding that not one of his emails has been deemed sufficiently interesting to be released by Wikileaks.
"I send lots of emails, regularly - to some really important people - why am I not part of this big diplomatic scandal? I mean I sent an email to the Prime-minister of Belgium only yesterday demanding that they move the fat content in their milk chocolate from 13% to 15% to meet European Union levels. Tell me how is that not worth leaking?"
Asked whether he had emailled anything that had anything to do with international foreign diplomacy or global economics, rather than Flemish dairy products. Clegg paused. "Not really, David doesn't let me near that sort of thing."
Every inch the world statesman Nick.