Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 5 December 2010

image for Accused Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter 'a scapegoat for England world cup flop'
Katia on holiday at Butlins earlier this year

London - (Spy-Who-Gagged-Me Mess): Pals of blonde, blue-eyed Katia Zatuliveter reckon she's a sacrificial lamb for England's World Cup 2018 slaughter.

The 35CC-23-34 beauty faces extradition to Bloodyvostock in a tit (sic) for tat spat with Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin.

She's accused of being a sleeper, a dormat - er...dormant! - spook waiting to hatch any madcap KGB plot that Vlad might order.

That's something that Katia has vehemently denied.

Her handsome UK boss Mike Handcock MP today rubbished conspiracy theories suggesting Katia bares (sic) a remarkably filial facial resemblance to him.

Despite the rebuttal some weekend red tops are clamoring for a DNA test to check if the two are in fact father and daughter.

Blood tests this week only confirmed the lovely young lady is full of all the right female whoremoans.

Her detention at a police extradition facility this weekend was described by some as an effing farce.

"Katia is no Anna Chapman mata hari," a barman at Soho's Gay Hussar nightclub commented.

"And even if she was, why ship her back home instead of using her to plug some juicy MI6 disinformation crap?

"If it works for Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie why not Katia?"

Prince William is KGB traitor Anthony Blunt's grandson.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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