Mike Handcock LibDem MP who sits on the all party defence committee has been accused of employing a Russian spy Katia Zatuliveter (25) as his research assistant.
'She's a delightful asset to our team and helps to keep my pecker up but she is not a spy' he told me confidentially.
This is a reminder of another attractive young sexy spy suspect Anna Chapman, who wriggled her way into our collective bed before escaping to Russia. It also comes on top of the debacle when Russia overpowered us on getting the 2018 World Cup.
'We are, for some strange reason, still regarded by the Russians as worth spying on' said commentator Ken Wolstenholme, freshly back from seeing the Russian linesman who gave England the important goal against Germany in the 1966 World Cup. 'Things have deteriorated since 1966' he said sadly 'then we were still friends with Russia against Hitler, now Putin has clearly sent his sexy spies to screw more information out of us.'
'I didn't know Ken was still going' responded Gary Lineker 'I thought it was all over for him - well, it is now!'