London - (Balls-up Mess): Bollox PR of three shameless self-publicists is what did it.
A cyber postmortem says today the footie world just can't get it up for the Tosspot Trio.
Wannabe legends Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor barely raised a flutter in the gonads department - despite all that shiny suited sports diplomacy.
Unlike Putin's men and their Gazprom dollars.
A bleak FA HQ autopsy at lunchtime attempted to smear the media for yesterday's limp dick.
But footie fans retalliated, blaming the sheer f***ing arrogance of England's flag-bearers for conning the nation into buying their schmooze.
"Besides, FIFA bigwigs all knew that those flaccid Three Lions are all DNA sons of warmonger Blair," a new Wikileaks trranscript added with glee.
Wayne Rooney's bookmaker is a Zurich Gnome.