Written by victor nicholas
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Friday, 3 December 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Identity Thieves Target Elderly
Marjorie Stevens Upset with Thieves

Identity Theft seems like a problem of the computer age but more and more non-computer users seem to be targeted. The elderly in particular are increasingly reporting becoming victims of this new crime.

Marjorie Stevens of 10 Bettsworth Cresent has lived her whole life on the island and speaks from experience having been the victim of an attack just last week.

"I was shopping and had not so much as got out of the car and set foot in the grocery store that I forgot what I had come to shopping for. I was just standing there talking to that handsome young man Cory who pushes the carts back in about the weather when they attacked, they must have seen me coming."

"I completely forgot what I was talking about or why I had come downtown."

"I had to go back home and go for a nap before it twigged on me. I had serious wonders as to if my identity was gone for certain."

Bob Summers a retired school teacher relates that he was always proud of his independence but was given a real fright when talking to his neighbour over the fence over football and the grandchildren when he realized he could no longer remember the name of his new grandson.

"It came back to me eventually but since then when I get up to go get something outdoors in the tool shed I end up stopping half-way and have to come back until my identity comes back and I remember what it is I was going to get."

Constable Mike Millington admits that he has little to go on at this time despite the increase in criminal activity.

"It's obvious they'll stop at nothing and that more than anything makes me angry. Preying on poor defenseless seniors, all good people I daresay, churchgoing hard-working grandparents most of them for all we know."

"So far we've not been able to make any positive visual identification of any suspects or determine what's motivating a certain segment of society to commit these crimes. All we know for certain is that the number and frequency of these types of crimes are increasing with the elderly segment of society.

Make victor nicholas's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

2 17 22 3

Go to top