The UK is under a blanket of snow, and virtually the entire infrastructure of the country has ground to a halt.
Transport Secretary Philip Hammond sobbed, "I just don't know what to do. This kind of weather just has us over a barrel. The whole country is at the mercy of the snow and ice."
Prime Minister of Sweden Fredrik Reinfeld went on the record earlier this morning with an uncharacteristically uncharitable attitude. He put on a sing-song voice and whinged, "Oh deary deary me. Shnow in the country! Now we will haf to close Shveeden for six months at least. Everybody should shtay indoorsh and not come out until at leasht April."
And Prime Minister of Norway Jens Stoltenberg joined in the 'joke'. "England has it so much worse than us. That's why they can't get a train running. That's why they can't get the roads cleared. Here in Norway it never snows that much and that's why we can keep things moving twelve months of the year."
Philip Hammond just buried his head in his hands and cried, "They're just bastards."