Written by Sidney Bollocks
Print this

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

image for Swimming Pool Bans Flotation Aids On Elf & Safety Grounds

A local swimming pool has banned children's floats on grounds of health and safety. Following an incident where a young child almost choked, having taken a bite out of one of the polystyrene floats, the floats have now been removed from use.

Pool manager, Derek Bleedin'-Jobsworth, said "This was a serious incident and the child could have choked to death. In the interests of health and safety, we were forced to act and remove this identified hazard. Since this incident happened a month ago, we are proud to say that there have been no further choking incidents in our swimming pool".

Mr Bleedin'-Jobsworth is currently assisting the coroner with his inquiries into 17 drowning deaths, which have occurred in the last month.

Make Sidney Bollocks's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 5?

4 7 15 24
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more