Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Tuesday, 30 November 2010

image for Swimming Pool Bans Flotation Aids On Elf & Safety Grounds

A local swimming pool has banned children's floats on grounds of health and safety. Following an incident where a young child almost choked, having taken a bite out of one of the polystyrene floats, the floats have now been removed from use.

Pool manager, Derek Bleedin'-Jobsworth, said "This was a serious incident and the child could have choked to death. In the interests of health and safety, we were forced to act and remove this identified hazard. Since this incident happened a month ago, we are proud to say that there have been no further choking incidents in our swimming pool".

Mr Bleedin'-Jobsworth is currently assisting the coroner with his inquiries into 17 drowning deaths, which have occurred in the last month.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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