London - (Etchings Mess): Is a rogue satellite, armed with a children's Spirograph geometric drawing kit and an out-of-control zit-zapping laser behind the crop circle phenomenon?
By tomorrow morning we may have the answer to one of the most puzzling phenomena of the 20th/21st centuries.
The Wikileaks site has promised to reveal the secrets behind crop circle formations following a deal with ex-NASA top brass.
A sneak preview alleges a Pentagon black ops program started by the Reagan/Bush 1 Administration was designed to fool superstition-mad Soviets.
Its mission objective was to pave the way for an alien master race return to earth scenario that would destroy atheism.
The crop circle designs were chosen by eminent mathematicians as 'proof' of extra-terrestrial intelligence guiding the American president.
But the whole scam backfired following an explosion in the onboard aircon which sent the etching machine bananas.
It has since gone out of control, carving random weird and wonderful geometric designs so beloved by New Age nutters.
This latest Wikileaks disclosure apparently also says the crop circle phenomenon will continue this winter on snowy and icy plains in Western Europe.
A Xmas Day etching of Santa Claus is widely predicted to appear near Stonehenge.
A spokesman at NASA's Area 51/Groom Lake HQ said today: 'Jesus wept!'