Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 29 November 2010

image for More shock-horror as Wikileaks predicts Queen's RIP tomorrow, St Andrew's Day
Fuck off George, you're a bastard and yow owe me bigtime

London - (Revelations, Chapter 9/11): The whistleblowing website's entire street cred depends on this latest claim.

Apparently a UN tarot reader who in 1995 predicted Barack Obama's stunning 2008 White House victory is going for the biggie.

This forsees Queen Elizabeth's fatal coronary on 30 November following some shocking revelations about Prince Andrew.

Wikileaks named him this weekend as an overpriviledged tosspot manipulating foreign heads of state in a series of scams 'way beyond his actual payscale'.

Their latest insider tip is confident Old Fatty Mountbatten's pacemaker won't hold out for any further leaks after the No 13 Tarot card of Death appeared in a spread today.

Meanwhile at Clarence House Prince Charles' herbal toxicologist has denied supplying unguents, potions and internal suppositories laced with exlir-if-life ingredients from Bogota.

The Queen is known to favor homeopathetic remedies once touted by this rascal.

Last year all her corgis were de-wormed using a five gallon drum of single scots malt and half a kilo of senna leaves.

The secret recipe is a vital ingredient in this year's Heston Bloomin-Thall's Xmas Pudding mix, on sale at Fakerose for under a tenner.

Spood News' very own psychic seer says she will eat her hat if Wikileaks' QEII prediction comes true tomorrow.

Kate Middleton has been stoned since Friday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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