Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Monday, 29 November 2010

image for US Ambassador Sent To Coventry
A worried-looking US Ambassador

Amidst the fallout of the latest disclosures by Wikileaks, the US Ambassador to the UK has been summoned to Downing Street. It is believed he was told, in no uncertain terms, that the British government was aghast at what had been communicated to Washington about it and demanded a formal apology.

Sometime later, a convoy of removal trucks arrived in Grosvenor Square and the contents of the US Embassy were loaded. After several hours, the convoy was seen heading up the M40 towards Coventry, where the Ambassador and his staff are likely to remain until they have learned their lesson.

A Downing Street staffer was heard to say, "These bloody Yanks, who do they think they are? They can't just come in here and take the piss out of Dave, Cleggy and Randy Andy. It's just not cricket. And as for wanting to know who is shagging who, who likes a bit of spanking, who rides the other bus and who is not up to the job, they're taking bloody liberties. Mind you, it was funny what they said about Sarkozy and Merkel, although I don't think they were right about Putin. Surely, Blair was the alpha-lapdog. What was a bit below the belt, though, was their dig at our Army boys in Afghanistan. At least we haven't killed as many civillians as they have and we don't go around teaching people how to breathe under water".

It is understood that all diplomatic channels have been closed and that Downing Street will not be talking to Washington until its collective bottom lip stops quivering.

Meanwhile, the US Ambassador and his staff will be working out of the Coventry Travelodge. Quite what they will actually be doing is unclear, as few people seemingly want to speak to them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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