The effects of global warming are having a devastating effect on the UK.
Sandy, boiling hot windy deserts, drying up of lakes and rivers, rising sea-levels, livestock dying because of lack of water and food.
Cactus and palm trees are replacing the good old Oak and British rose. Camels, scorpions, locusts, etc, are breeding like good old British rabbits!
The UK population have been banned from showering, bathing, drinking tap water and are being warned not to go out in the extreme temperatures.
Northern beaches usually abandoned because of the freezing temperatures are full of sun-worshippers baking away just like in Benidorm or Torremolinos.
In fact global warming has caused so much turmoil even the stiff upper-lip politicians have abandoned their pin-striped Saville row suits and are now wearing khaki shorts, flimsy, flip-flops and thin cotton T-shirts (without the old-school college tie).
Yes, that old enemy global warming has finally caught the Brits with their pants down (what a relief).
"Mummy, if global warming is hitting Britain, why is everything so white and why the f++k am I freezing my cojones off?"
Answers please to Al Gore!