Written by j.w.
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Topics: Police, Protest, Students

Saturday, 27 November 2010

image for Police Chief Concludes Negotiations with Fake Student Leader
Inspired Police Horses Defending the State Against Crazed Schoolchildren

Constable Paul Stephenson, recently demoted from his his position a the Met Police Chief, had concluded a pact with a fake student leader so that demonstrations against student fees would not get out of hand.

If was revealed today by Wikileaks, despite dire Government warnings that the information could cause a major breakdown of national security, that Prophet Paul - who in his spare time runs a clairvoyance business - had made a deal with Madame Blavitsky (23), who is a student at Cambridge studying Physics and Chemistry. His informants had advised him that she was the Boss of the Rebellious students.

It was rumoured that she only had to look at a Police Horse for it to panic and charge headlong into a crowd. But Prophet Paul had received false information. His snout was, in fact, a double agent and Madame Blavitsky has disappeared with the Crown Jewels (her present for co-operation with the law) and cannot be located. This was after she was alleged to have stared at several police horses and inspired them to charge into a group of schoolchildren on the the way to the Natural History Museum.

This in itself was thought to be suspect because this Museum perpetrates nonsense emanating from a discredited biologist, Charles Darwin - a revolutionary who still continues to infect people with his dangerous message about evolution. Paul said that Darwin's ideas were behind much of the student unrest and endangered Britain's special relationship with South America's future saviour, Sarah Palin.

We hear that Paul Stephenson is considering his position and may well turn to clairvoyance full time.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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