Passions are high at the meteorological office, more heat is being engendered than the cold snap in February.
'It is so exciting' said Met Chief Isobar Therm 'and it is going to get better. We will be headline news all next week.'
However homeless people shivering at night are not so enthusiastic. 'These Met Chief's should spend a night out in the open. They wouldn't be so keen on their bloody weather then' remarked a bearded down and out.
Tony Blair's uncle Eric, also known as George Orwell - for it was he who was down and out - went on to describe what it was like to be down and out in London and Paris. 'It's enough to turn you to religion to get a Sally Army bed. That's how desperate it gets.'
'My God' said Therm when I told him of the result of cold weather 'to think Tony's uncle suffers like this. We must stop getting so excited about snow storms.'
However the Met is up against it. Media mutts are all over the place stuck in snowdrifts, skating on thin ice, asking people if they like the snow. This is their golden hour. 'Charities need a good disaster, we need a freezing spell' quipped John Turnip braced to give his report to the camera on just how he was suffering in the cold weather 'this comes pretty close to serial murders for news coverage.'
So the cloud always has a silver lining. Think of those benefiting from cold weather and feel proud for England and St George.