Written by j.w.
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Topics: Police, Students

Thursday, 25 November 2010

image for Police Encourage Students to be more Radical
Police Kettle Heats Up

In an attempt to further the education of students the Police have put into force their latest plan to make more students more radical.

By putting the students in a kettle and lighting the flame below it the young people get hot feet and begin to jump around, then as the heat increases they slowly boil. Only when they are shouting slogans loud enough do the police turn the temperatures down.

Toilets are provided but a mature student studying for his PhD contended that it was more difficult finding the toilet than passing his degree with first class honours.

Chief Inspector Veronica Root, a radical herself, explained the policy to journalists who also had hot feet and were beginning to jabber nonsense. 'There are only a few students taking direct action but many more not doing so' she complained 'it is about time these on lookers got involved. There is nothing like hot feet to get sense into these people's heads. They are students after all.'

Student activist Toll Puddle, or so he called himself, was high in his praise of the Police. 'These kettle tactics have everyone falling into our hands' he said 'Veronica Root is a right on lady. We salute her for her courage. We had never realised senior police officers wanted to encourage students to be more radical.'

A smiling Nick Clegg explained that the students clearly lacked the brains to understand the Coalitions Education policies. 'It is a comment on our education system that school children have entered the political arena which should be left to grown ups who know the difference between truth and lies.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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