Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Thursday, 25 November 2010

image for Shock Reason Why Ed Miliband is The Right Man For These Chaotic Times
Britain Needs Ed to get his superhero suit sorted.

The reason why Ed Miliband is the correct man for the job of saving our Country has been revealed by a very interesting source... and its a shocker.

The source is based right within the Union of Superheroes and is believed to be called Peter Parker. Peter believes that Ed is the right man to save the World from the Tombies (Zombie Tories) because he's a geek, just like every other superhero who has gone before him (except Batman).

Being a geek gives a politician powers way beyond that of your usual politician. It gives him brains and a cloak of disguise he can wear to the houses of Parliament. No one suspects that the Geek is on the tail of the baddies, until of course he puts on his superhero suit by night and becomes saviour of the whole planet.

This is what the Union of Superheroes hopes Ed will do, but so far he hasn't answered their call. Sources from inside Labour HQ say that this is because he's having trouble deciding which superhero suit to wear.

He knows it has to be red, but he doesn't know if he wants wings or just a jet propelled rocket launcher attached to the back of it. Ed has never been very good at fashion, unlike his brother David, who would have known exactly what to wear. But the superheroes didn't want David, because he was too obvious.

Just like in the labour leadership race, being a flash harry lost him the top job. The Tombies would have recognised him immediately as the leader of Superheroes and would have been on his case within days of being elected.

Peter Parker believes the superheroes need Ed to make a decision very quickly now, because he believes the Tombies to have been active in yesterday's peaceful student protests.

He has been informed by a reliable source that the riots where hijacked by prominent student Tombies from the Young Conservative Party. They turned the peace into chaos when they hijacked a police van and tried to vandalise its flashing blue lights.

This is a very serious incident indeed because it seems the Tombies are trying to make lefty students look like hooligans. Its a very worrying turn of events because it shows the Tombies are growing in number. In the Spring their were just the three of them, David Cameron, George Osborne and Grant Shapps, but now there's a new generation...all waiting to prey on poor people.

Peter Parker issued this message last night from deep with Superhero HQ in New York. "My advice to Ed tonight is to ask David for fashion advice. Tell him you're going to a fancy dress party, tell him whatever you want but just make the decision, get the suit sorted out, and start fighting the fight."

Labour HQ has neither confirmed nor denied any of the previous facts. The wait for Ed's answer continues.

By Katarina Frogond.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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