Written by ExiledRoyal
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Wednesday, 24 November 2010

image for McDonald's to launch own degree
McDonald's Special this month: The McDobbin

McDonald's is going to introduce its own degree course for its restaurant managers in the UK.

The foundation degree, which will be accredited by Manchester Metropolitan University, marks the fast-food company's latest move into education.

Course Leader, Wilma Shitstink, is very enthusiastic. "McDonalds is keen to dispel the 'McJobs' attitude. I mean, most people believe that our food was faster when it had a saddle on it, but that's just not so."

Refuting the accusation that their burgers are made from offal and 'testicular material', Ms. Shitstink says, "We are training our managers on how to answer customers who find actual meat in their food."

Most of the course is designed to defuse difficult customers.

Wilma says, "We have people who come in and ask for a Chinese. They order, and when our operative repeats it, they completely change what they want.

Our operatives are trained to be polite. Often when they ask how a customer is today they are told about diarrhea problems, most likely due to the burger that was bought from us yesterday and the day before that."

ExiledRoyal comments, "It's called "fast" food because you're supposed to eat it really fast. Otherwide, you might actually taste it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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