So it's official. The Wedding will take place on Friday 29th April 2011.
Coverage of every conceivable aspect of the marriage is spread, ad nauseam, across all parts of the media.
But the good news is that The Spoof has done your homework for you. Following are a selection of alternative events, enabling you to steer clear of the pompous show.
All on 29th April:
Save The Frogs Day. Save The Frogs Day is the world's largest day of amphibian education and conservation action. Get together with your friends to love and pet those little green critters.
Autism Rainbow Day (Facebook Group). This group has been created to provide information and updates on Autism Rainbow Day (a global autism awareness day). Anyone anywhere can participate to help raise awareness about autsim in their local community. You're invited to wear loud shirts.
Shearing for Beginners. Organised by smallholdingcourses.co.uk. This one day course is designed to give you a complete introduction to shearing sheep and is run by two very experienced professional shearers, who work all over the world. An ace opportunity to get up close and personal with sheep, no questions asked. Info online.
Asbestos Awareness course. Starting on the 29th April 2011 in Bristol. A fantastic chance to discover the joys of chronic lung disease.
Caflon Ear Piercing Course, Dagenham. Bring your own ice and needles.
The list is not exhaustive, unlike this reporter who is already sodding exhausted with so much patronising shite.