London - (Sieg Heil! Mess): Bossy boots bastards from the British National Party are queueing up to work in the dole office now that new Tory rules allow them to turn the screws on the jobless.
At one South London Jobs-Plus office regular Hitler types who interview unemployment benefit applicants are reporting a huge surge in work satisfaction.
"Boot's on the other foot mate," Manager Dave Goebbels said today, "wanna knuckle sandwich?"
Chosen initially for qualities of ruthlessness, sarcasm and total disregard for the bleedin' obvious the benefit assessors are having a field day oppressing and humiliating anyone without work.
Under the old Labour regime a happy-clappy culture of empathy and mutual respect existed between these monsters and dole applicants.
All that is gone now that Work and Pensions Secretary Ian Dunkin Zits has given them free reign to verbally abuse, humiliate and generally pillory anyone daft enough to attempt making a claim.
The ploy has produced remarkable results with a 50% drop out rate following an initial interview.
Meanwhile secret government plans to convert Battersea Power Station into a massive Victorian-style workhouse were given a big boost this weekend.
An estimated 10,000 workshy scroungers face being rounded up and pressganged into toiling in workshops making royal wedding bunting.
In return they'll get bed and breakfast in a converted prison ship moored on the Thames, a bright blue T-shirt and the nation's grateful thanks after the April 1st nuptials.
David Cameron is an Opus Dei whore.