Written by KendoMonkey

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Topics: Ancient, Recipe

Wednesday, 10 September 2003

image for Bev's Bevvies belay bellies
Really? No more pooing?

Publican, Beverly Basket, has re-discovered an ancient Egyptian recipe originally used during the mummification process, but now prefers it as an additive in her ale.

The formula is still top secret, but, as Bev explained, it's not as scary as it sounds:

"I first stumbled across the formula in this old book I had in the loft. I think it belonged to my father, who also owned a pub. At first I thought the book was titled: '101 great beers'. Then I realised it actually said 'The Book of the Damned'.

"But it was a fantastic read, and I found this actual recipe. Thinking, at that time, that it was for beer, I concocted a marvellous potion that tasted magnificent. It was only after 3 weeks that I realised I hadn't actually used the 'toilet' in all that time."

The "Strange-Brew", it seems, 'plugs' the large intestine, disabling the drinker from expelling waste. However, Bev believes this is not a problem for her regular customer.

"Well, those who try enough of the drink won't be affected. Although in small doses it can clog you up, in large doses it simply dissolves the lining of the stomach...and any other organ it comes into contact with."

The drink will not be found in your local shopping mart.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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