Already being touted as a thoroughly modern marriage, Prince William and Her Royal Highness Princess Catherine of Bangor are set to sign a prenup.
The Spoof's Royal correspondant Oliver Champagne has seen details of the couple's agreement.
"Yes, it is unprecedented," explains Oliver, "but in these times of uncertainty, and particularly looking at the track record of his dad and his uncle Andrew, neither Wills or Kate want to tempt fate."
Particular attention is being accorded to unforeseen car accidents and trips abroad. Any offspring of the marriage will have their futures assured by being taken under the wing of Barnardo's should anything happen to their parents. "Clearly this is preferable to having them brought up in a dysfunctional family like the Windsors," says Oliver.
Kate has agreed to go on a training course enabling her to deal with The Queen and Duke of Edinburgh, with further weekly counselling being made available. "She is under no illusions as to how ugly they can become, and has already called upon the services of a firm of Private Investigators to keep an eye on them," Oliver informs us.
"Financially William wouldn't have too much of a problem. His family are flush. But the agreement stipulates that, should the relationship founder, Kate will receive up to 25 million pounds, obviously index-linked, a portfolio of shares including Duchy Originals, a fleet of Bentleys, three castles of her choice (though Windsor and Buckingham Palace have their own opt-out clauses), and Cornwall."
Not bad for a middle-class girl from Berkshire.