Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Topics: Terrorism

Friday, 19 November 2010

image for UK on terror alert, again

The UK was back on terror alert last night, after a bomb exploded in woodland just to the west of London. Police & counter terrorist experts are combing the area for clues as to the identity of the bombers. The only damage sustained was some blown down trees and a small shed was demolished.

Commander Bob Cognitive-Impairment, who is leading the investigation, said "At first, we thought this might be an Al Qaeda bomb test. We know they use areas like this as training grounds, mostly since the residents of Finsbury Park complained about the noise of explosions at night. However, there are other terror groups who represent a threat to the UK and they cannot be discounted".

Later, it was revealed that forensic experts had found a fine layer of fertiliser residue around the bomb site, along with several dozen empty Guinness cans and a copy of a Munster v Australia match programme.

Commander Cognitive-Impairment, in a statement to the media, said "We continue to monitor the activities of Irish terror groups, the main one being the Real IRA. However, a new splinter group has emerged recently. We believe this explosion was intended as an attack on the BBC TV Centre and was carried out by the Simple IRA. The BBC TV Centre is actually located at Wood Lane, London W12, which is several miles up the road from here".

In a phonecall to the Met Police late last night, a spokesman for the Simple IRA claimed responsibility for the explosion. He also offered to replant the trees and said that the Simple IRA had strong environmental credentials and did not, in any way, wish to contribute to global warming.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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