Written by Mike Gatspy

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Thursday, 18 November 2010

A policeman who was caught on video massacring 56 women and children with a machine gun has walked free from court after successfully appealing against his conviction.

P.C. Sylvester Sloane, 35, acknowledged that the victims all received bullet wounds to the head and that it was clearly him who was seen firing the shots and heard shouting "do as you're told bitch or I'll blast your brains out" on camera, but he maintained that if , indeed, he had killed the victims, he hadn't intended to.

Judge Old-Dodderytwat explained that Mr Sloane had a previously unblemished record in the force, and if he said he didn't mean to do it there was no good reason to doubt him and therefore upheld the appeal.

Sloane told waiting reporters that he was delighted the judge had seen sense, if not the videotape, and he was now off home to Wiltshire to buy a lottery ticket.

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