Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 18 November 2010

image for Cash-strapped Westmonster Abbey demands £10 million to stage Wills and Kate wedding
The IOU was issued today

London - (Prenup Mess): As hush money goes the figure sounds just about right.

Worried Abbey officials say their insurance firm insists on the full £10 million wack in case of being sued for aiding and abetting bigamy, humbug and a right royal reception - er- deception!

The sum is to be paid as a bail bond guaranteeing no dodgy News of the Screws phone-tap fuck-ups that very nearly wrecked other minor royals' nuptials.

After the ceremony it will pay for a proper hosing down of the Abbey's hallowed interior, sullied by this latest Tory scam to pass off scrag-end mutton for the real Holy Lamb of God nuptials.

Anything left over will go towards a little holiday for the Archbishop of Canterbury whose dismay at having to conduct Charles and Camilla's marriage blessing service in 2005 still rankles.

A sinking fund will also be established to deal with legal wrangles over the use of consecrated ground for acts of public bigamy.

Camilla Fucker-Proles is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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